PixieFirefly

Since when did travelers in hostels stop talking to each other? When I enter the room and say "Hello!" am I really such a bother? You all look up from your laptops and phones, one nods, another smiles, I shrug it off, I guess they're shy, or uploading important files. Then two hours pass and i'm still wondering who they are and what brings them here, last time I 'hosteled', 2006, guests actually spoke and even drank beer! This time is so different- like no-one exists, only the soul of their WiFi connection, is this what things have now come to -  no face to face communication? Where people share a space so small you couldn't even swing a

Dublin Airport - 28/10/2010 Rush, rush, you've all gotta rush You have to be first for everything Competition. Consumption. You're empty shells with winter coats. Maybe I'm jealous. Or maybe you're a gloat. Does money make anything easier? Or does it conceal the suffering We are all predisposed to feel. Money's but a mask                          a mask                          like a clown                          laughing in your face Empty shells with winter coats with clown masks laughing you in the face                          Ha                          Ha                          Ha But who is laughing really?

Scottish Woman Drove Me Crazy What makes you think you have the right to awaken us creatures in the midst of the night? With a fee and a fi and a fo and a fum, you have a story to tell everyone. Domination, manipulation, don't give me false expectations. STOP talking shit about the day, the birds have more interesting things to say the trees have more interesting things to say the bees have more interesting things to say What you say has zero meaning, i'm silent when I should be screaming. Sucking energy, sucking blood, my personality sinks into the mud. I struggle, struggle to pull myself up, but your buttons jammed, there ain't no  

Why I Don't Cry The reason I don't cry is 'cos I used up my supply at the tender age of 21 after years of sobbing the tears were gone no more aching face and jaw tear stains on my pillow were no more it had to stop i had to try to live my life before i died

I Just Cried Over a memory Me aged 19 Careless Selfish Stupid Yet respected and trusted enough by a family to live in their house care for their children I was their first time "The new au pair We expect a lifelong friend A member of the family" I couldn't pretend I was chaos embodied Destruction wherever I went Lack of control Alcohol cigarettes and sex in their bed With sleazy Frenchmen who said they loved me And I believed them Because it made me feel good

The Cycle can't sleep  too cold     too hot        noises outside           noises in my head         bad back       aching neck    stomach cramps hungry   feeling sick      tossing        turning           battling with the blanket               on floor                  on bed                       this way                     that way              eyes closed           eyes open              sleep at last                                      nightmare                                      fucked up                                      psychotic                                      suppressed                      

Dirty Girl "Don't you dare let me catch you ever do that again. " And so she pulled herself up from the carpet where she'd been sprawled lead her naive innocent confused frame up to her pink bedroom where she could be alone with her embarrassment each shameful step followed by an equally dirty one she vowed to never touch it again she vowed to never look at it again she vowed to never communicate with it again and for years she believed she was bad for years she believed she was wrong for years she believed she would burn in hell and this to no-one did she tell for years she thought she was abnormal for years she thought she had a diseas